It’s the Revolutionary War all over again – Whose Side Are You On?
Tonight marks the opening night of the last chapter (part II) of Harry Potter. You know, the movie based on the British author J.K Rowling’s books about British kids who find out they’re British wizards and go to Hogwarts, a British school of magic Rowling modeled after the British school system.
Did I mention that they’re all British? (Okay, Rowling throws in some Scots and some French, too. Same difference).
This movie is expected to shatter all records for opening weekends; tonight’s midnight showings – where attendees will dress in black robes, sacrifice black cats and summon Satan to enjoy some popcorn and Dots (so I’ve heard) – are sold out all across the nation in order that viewers can brag about being the first to see the finale of a film series they already know the end to. It is also expected to be the top-grossing film of the year, and perhaps of all time.
This cannot stand.
Now, far be it from me to take away from the public’s apparent enjoyment of Anglophilic witchcraft, and I admit I will enjoy seeing Transformers 3′s opening weekend record be wiped from the books, but, dammit, we live in America, and this summer’s records should be held by an American film. No, not Michael Bay’s “movie” – America’s not about giant space robots who allow thousands of Americans to die to prove a point. And America’s not about a Viking space alien, either, nor is it about a guy who gets his power from a green ring (do you see green on our flag?) or talking animals.
No, America’s about freedom. It’s about “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness”, individual achievement and responsibility to your fellow man. It’s about sacrifice and it’s about loyalty to something greater than yourself. And it’s definitely not about witches. And there’s one movie out this summer that epitomizes America:
It's about America.
Captain America: The First Avenger is set during a time when the world faced the threat of an ego-maniacal genocidal madman bent on ruling the world. If that sounds familiar, Potter fans, you’re right – Rowling plagiarized American history with her invention of Voldemort. Rowling, however, employs a bit of revisionism in her last novel by allowing the Brits to defeat their “Hitler” with no American support at all. In fact, in Rowling’s fantasy world, America might as well not even exist (Rowling probably was worried American wizards would crowd out Harry). But Captain America might have actually happened: he’s fighting Nazis and Hitler, along with the forces of Hydra and the Red Skull. The movie’s practically a history lesson – I can envision high school coaches showing it to their American History classes in future years.
In fact, I think it could be proven that Rowling wanted Harry Potter to be the British Captain America. Think about it: both stories involve young men who come from humble beginnings and, because of who they are, are blessed with certain abilities and become heroes to all who meet them, all the while taking on the great evil of their time. It’s a timeless story – I’m surprised Rowling was the first to crib it from Cap.
Look, I know that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is going to have a most impressive showing at the box office this weekend. Hell, I’m going to be seeing it too – after all the losers who are going to dress up as Harry or Hermione or Snape have seen it their five times. But I think we would be remiss as a nation not to show the same…no, MORE support for a movie that celebrates the American spirit through such an iconic superhero. So go see Harry Potter this weekend, but make plans to see The First Avenger next weekend (twice, even!), too, and help keep the box-office records attached to an American movie. It’s your patriotic duty.
I’ll be first in line in the Cap costume.
I don't think I'll take the shield to the theater.
The Lower Frequencies 
July 17, 2011 at 2:54 am
I’m thinking exceeding the Harry Potter take might be a little difficult.
July 17, 2011 at 4:20 pm
The question is, can you throw that shield accurately?
July 17, 2011 at 11:12 pm
1) $169 million is the target.
2) As accurately as a rather flimsy piece of hard plastic can be thrown.
July 25, 2013 at 5:01 pm
[…] America makes numerous appearance each year, for some reason. The above is from this past year, as well. I don’t see myself taking this […]